In fact, building personal power is the very crux of being a manager who uses their positional power well and provides leadership that lifts and inspires others. Having personal power means that leaders can remain others focused, avoid problematic reactionary behaviour and bypass the usual terrible effects of occupying elevated positions.

But what exactly is personal power, and how do you get it?

At its heart, personal power is the ability to:

• create and sustain your own, self-chosen, deliberate emotional responses to whatever context you find yourself in;
• create calm under stress, clarity in conflicting circumstances, a sense of expansiveness when options seem limited, to be present when lots of different people want your attention, and quietly confident when failures occur;
• bring yourself under control when the situation you are in might tempt you to cultivate feelings of being victimised, resentful, blameful or hopeless;

And, in the context of the practice of the positive emotions listed above, personal power is also the ability to take action as prompted by those cultivated states.

That action is consistent with moving in the direction of your desired dreams and priorities. To create with your heart, head and hands.

Having personal power does not mean that your never feel negative emotions, but it does mean that you don’t create patterns or habits of feeling those feelings, and that they don’t become persistent, consistent ways of feeling and being in the world.

Building personal power is about working on that one domain where our efforts are guaranteed to yield results: YOU.

Why do this? Because if you change YOU, everything changes in your life. You are the common denominator of all of your experiences.

The ability to feel from choice allows us to take effective action. Of course, sometimes our feelings of stress can prompt us into action, but relying on stress to prompt and guide our action creates its own problems. Stress is simply not a reliable director of energy. Stress can helpfully wake us up to the need to take decisive action, but the decision-making and ultimate action is best taken with a cool mind, not one riddled with anxiety. Anxiety is likely to distort our judgement and obscure the available options.

Underlying beliefs supporting personal power

There is a particular set of beliefs that helps us bring our emotive responses under control and thereby take effective, potent action i.e., have high personal power. That belief set usually includes the beliefs that we are inherently worthwhile, infinitely valuable and deeply good. This assessment of self does not rest on any achievements and is not shattered by mistakes or failures. It is a belief about ourselves and about people.

It is not living with a “must prove my worth”, or “must show I’m of value” mindset, but rather a robust sense of ourselves as being deeply acceptable no matter what.

These beliefs are not about training oneself to overlook short comings or poor behaviour. It is not about arrogance. It is not about putting oneself above others. It is the mind that sees beyond behaviour and results and understands the inherent worth of a person. It is an elevation of not just ourselves but of everybody, since those who have cultivated these beliefs in an authentic way, believe it of everybody.

There is one other belief that, in my experience, is strikingly apparent in those who have developed high personal power. They view life as fundamentally good, and inherently supportive. They have developed a love of life, and of their life, which means that, not only have they dropped their defensive posture to life, but they also hold the notion that life is a wonderful and awe-inspiring privilege to have. Even in difficult times, their sense of gratitude and appreciation of life broadly, and their life more specifically, remains present.

To deepen and make more practical this discussion, I’d like to introduce you to the three domains of personal power as described and measured in the Diamond Power Index (www.diamondleadership.com). Julie Diamond’s research has isolated these three aspects, giving us clear direction in our efforts to build personal power. The three domains identified are Capable Self, Aware Self and Purposeful Self.

Domain 1 – Capable Self

This domain of personal power reflects the degree to which an individual believes in their ability to succeed at things they set out to do, through sustained effort, discipline and determination. To possess a high Capable Self means that you have cultivated a general sense of optimism or confidence about your capacity to move in the direction of your goals, to achieve tasks you set out to achieve, and to have an impact on the world.

To create a strong sense of Capable Self, we need to actively cultivate a sense of being sufficient for life. In other words, to carry with us feelings of a love of life, rather than a persistent fear what it might bring. To build a sense of Capable Self is indeed to organise our posture to be one that is leaning in to life, expectant and hopeful.

Domain 2 – Aware Self

The Aware Self domain of personal power reflects the individual’s capacity for introspection. It describes one’s ability to focus one’s attention, recognise thoughts and feelings, and have insight about how those thoughts and feelings might influence one’s own behaviour.

To possess a high Aware Self means that you can communicate with awareness about your own thoughts and feelings and, importantly, take responsibility for them.

Isn’t this curious? Who would have known that your capacity for introspection would comprise a critical part of you being personally powerful.

What happens if we haven’t built this power? Negative, self-critical thought patterns go unchallenged. Self-talk that blames others and supports a sense of victimisation take hold.

Not only that, without Aware Self powers, it is difficult to focus one’s energy and sustain attention on high priorities.

To cultivate a strong sense of Aware Self we need to build daily practices of withdrawing from the outer world of activity and going inward to sense and appreciate what is happening in our inner world. It is there that we can practise relaxing our mind and body, getting off the treadmill off fixating on the tangible world as a means of creating safety, and begin to imagine a new and better world.

Domain 3 – Purposeful Self

The Purposeful Self domain of personal power reflects our ability to cope with and recover from difficulties. To possess a high Purposeful Self indicates that you enjoy a positive orientation to life and believe that life, including your own life, is filled with meaning. This results in a strong likelihood that you will recover from the inevitable failures and problems of life.

Creating a life purpose enables us to zoom out from whatever project that is demanding our attention and see it in the context of a road that extends far beyond that project.

To cultivate a strong sense of Purposeful Self we must devote time and energy to considering what we want our personal legacy to be and creating a sense of destiny about moving toward that legacy. A sense of purpose in one’s life does not usually happen all by itself. For most of us it takes a willingness to engage in guided reflections, with the written output of those reflections being something that is returned to regularly.

I hope this brief explanation of the anatomy of personal power is helpful and actionable for you. Focusing on these three things has indeed changed my life, and the lives of many of those whom I coach.

Dr. Paul Donovan